"Now we have finished. Everyone stand and we will bow to the Buddha three times to thank him. We thank him, because even if we did not have a great enlightenment, we had a small enlightenment. If we did not have a small enlightenment, at least we did not get sick. If we got sick, at least we did not die. So let's thank the Buddha" ~ Hsu Hsuan

This is from my Zen Calendar and it spoke to me today. I'm finding myself in a funk, just a general malaise, or the mean reds as Holly Golightly would say. I really try to be positive and see the best in situations and people but sometimes that 

Sometimes I think this is why I like watching reality TV because I can look at "those people" and say Alleluiai, thank the Lord, that my life is not like THAT. So according to the quote above I'm thankful today to be alive, not dead. Even though I'm feeling lost and unmotivated and slightly hopeless, I'm breathing and there is a possibility for change.

I found my knitting mojo last week and started a plain toe up sock. No pattern. I needed to just knit. And the thumb is still not good. But I taped it, taped my pinky finger too because the long circs are in nickel plate and they were hitting and hurting points on my pinky. The thumb is still locking but when taped doesn't seem to hurt so much. I was up to the cuff on the first sock and then the new Knitty came out. Then I fell in love with this sock pattern, Maeva. I must knit it! Oh, and FYI, it is not pronounced the way I would pronounce it "may-va", oh no, maybe this is the german pronounciation but the pattern says it's pronounced "ma-eva" How ever you say it, I ripped out that plain sock and cast on and I'm enjoying the pattern very much. I'm working the instep. 

I also have to finish reading my library book, Freedom by Jonathan Franzen which is due today but I may have to keep for 1 more day and get a fine. I'm really going to try to finish it now so I can turn it in. It's an enjoyable read but slightly odd. There's a few situations that were written about that made me very uncomfortable, both having to do with poop. I like that part of the book is in St.Paul MN, I like getting to know these characters, it's a study in human behavior, but it's slightly out there too. I haven't finished it yet, so I'll say no more. Have any of you read it? I'd love to talk to someone about the book after I've finished.

What I'm happy and grateful for today: The smell of freshly brewed coffee. The smell is intoxicating, it puts you a good place, the anticipation of a perfect cup of coffee. 

I so love the smell of freshly brewed coffee! It's one of my favorite things. I can't stand most reality TV--even if the people on it aren't embarrassed, I get embarrassed <i>for</i> them. Kinda ruins it for me.


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